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MY STORY.   

When I lived with my parents I suffered years of rapes sexual assaults and beatings by some white men I was repeatedly raped by 2 white men others just touch me sexually  I was age 6 when rape and sexual assaults started beatings before only one of them was jailed. I was also abused by my mum and dad by beatings and emotional degrading abuse. 
 

When I was age 13 I was put in a horrible children’s home and an older Pakistani bloke evil bad man in his 30s came in to my life. evil bad man already knew a lot about me and he was nice to me for a week then turn evil all others was never nice to me they have hurt me (most of them repeatedly) straight away. For over 19 years from age 13 he used me as a rape slave(it’s rape not sex)sold me to hundreds of men(almost 1,000)who repeatedly raped sexually assaulted beatings and tortured me in different towns and cities in the uk. 

Evil bad man is different type of abuser. There were not any other girls and women. I was the only girl/women, he allowed few hundreds(almost 1,000)of men from different towns and cities in UK to rape and torture me.Evil bad man believed because I was only one it be harder to proof and convict because it be my word against few hundred almost 1,000 men he was a one girl business man he had all money I didn’t have a penny I don’t want any. 

Most of the time evil bad man took me to men on his own, sometimes his brothers, dad and some of his friends helped him. Evil bad man put something that smelt funny over my mouth and nose and put me in back of his van I must have passed out as I woke up in different towns and cities to lots of men I never was in control they was I was always tied up chained strapped down handcuffed caged etc. 

Evil bad man told them what to do to me, they did lots of horrible frightening painful things to my body. I was repeatedly raped vaginally and anally by penis and different objects. Lots of times I was raped sexually assaulted and tortured more 20 times in a day, lots of times by gangs of them, lots of times basement/room full of them. I couldn’t always count how many men there was because more often than not there were so many of them evil bad man started raping me on my 16th birthday but allowed lots of other men to start when I was age 13. 

He waited to rape me when I was age 16 because he believed he could not go to jail as I was old enough it was still rape as I did not want to or consent to have sex with him. (Lots of men think when girls/women reaches 16 they can help themselves to sex despite the fact they need consent they just can’t help themselves as this is rape.) I never consented sex with any of them, I was raped, sexually assaulted, beaten up and tortured. 

I was not in control, he was. I never went to him, he kept finding me and drugging me on occasions his brothers dad and some of his friends were involved. Here is list of horrible frightening painful disgusting things I had to endure I had darts chucked at me, pins in my boobs and clit and hung up naked and hit by belt and other things. I was burnt, beaten up, drugged up, alcohol forced down my mouth, cigarette ash down my mouth, my butt and vagina, I had my toe nails cut off they make me lick up spunk of floor raped me at the same time, they forced me to eat dead rats mice etc raped me at the same time. They stuffed my vagina they forced bondage/bdsm very aggressive and rough with me put me in a lot of pains put my head in oven raped me at the same time (took my head out before it got too hot) put pegs on my nipples stapled my body etc. I was raped lot’s more 1,000 times in over 19 years most of them repeatedly I was kicked punched chucked around spat at strangled had my hair pulled etc they did all sexual stuff to me licked me fingered me touched bite and licked my boobs nipples vagina and clitous aggressive and rough with me deep throat me with penis and objects penis between by boobs pulled my nipples and clitous put icecubes on my nipples and vagina injected my clitous boobs and arms they did lots of horrible things to my body.  

They tied me to a tree naked in a dark scary wood after I was gang raped. I was almost drowned, was almost buried alive. I was tied up naked with my legs apart in a basement full of men. I had penis and different objects in my both holes at same time, they used tools on me I had a gun pointed in my vagina and used on me more than once (I don’t know was real gun or not), I have been cut and stabbed with pen knife had cigarettes stubbed out on me etc.  

It carried on even when on my menstrual cycle, as I was butt raped only till my periods finished and they also continued to tortured my body as described as above. They did lots of horrible frightening painful things to my body, mostly my boobs, nipples, vagina, clit and butt, they sexually tortured me. Through the torture my knees were kicked so many times they are now damaged to the extent my mobility is difficult and I have to take things slowly and regular breaks I’m lucky I can walk but with struggle. 

Evil bad man was very aggressive strict and controlling dangerous man. The torture, rape, punishment would be more severe, if I wore the wrong type or colour of clothes underwear that he did not like. It was like he wants to punish me. Evil bad man found any fault to punish/torture me he always had a excuse to want to hurt me and allowed other men did same I never knew what I did wrong to be tortured punished and abused he called me his special white slag. 

To shame me further, evil bad man filmed me being raped and tortured. Their faces were covered to protect their identity mine shown He also made me have topless and fully naked pictures taken. Many professionals called me prostitute and slut and that I asked for it. They were very ignorant and I am sure they would have known the difference between sex and rape They were not very supportive but nasty to me and I believe they were just as bad as my abusers. 

Since I was age 13 I had lots of social workers and support workers most of them not good and didn’t care I have been let down by police social services and care staff I now don’t trust most of them. 

I get anxious about being alone and vulnerable. Past care staff failed to turn up at any arranged times and meeting places putting me in danger from predators still looking for me. Having been let down so many times and being verbally and emotionally abused by staff and professionals I find it difficult to trust and build up positive relationships with anybody. 

Due to my mild learning disability my abusers thought it was alright for them to abuse, torture and rape me without getting caught. only one was jailed as he confessed to his crime. (He has since passed away) 

Evil bad man had and may still have a secret place he calls it his special place it’s full of me lots of different pictures of me naked ones and others on all walls ceiling my clothing underwear my hair some my skin he cut of my body abit of my blood and lots of other things of me it’s a very creepy frightening torture room. He didn’t want me to know where it is everytime he took me he put something that smelt funny round my mouth and nose put me in his van I wroke up there tied up naked. He cut his arm and my arm with a pen knife rub our arms together and mixed our blood together he said I am his special white slag I belong to him he is very scary evil man he has hurt me lots in that room nobody else allowed in that room only him has hurt me in that room it’s his special place full of me he has repeatedly drugged me raped me sexually assaulted me beaten me up and tortured me(I won’t write everything and every detail I have lots more not nice to talk about and somethings hard to explain)I have been abused most of my life I have been hurt and let down lots by lots of people I now don’t trust most people. 

Due to my horrible past experiences I now suffer from depression anxiety, PTSD, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, nightmares, flashbacks etc. Also I can often smell things and hear voices from the past which still scares me. In the past I self harmed myself by cutting and I hope I don’t do it again. I do not know what will happen in the future as anything could happen to trigger the feelings again. Last time I was raped sexual assaulted beaten up and tortured was in 2017 I almost died more than once and when things got too far I needed medical attention he knew doctors sorted me out he was being cleaver to continued to get away with it I have been through lots of horrible frightening painful disgusting things. 

I used to be addicted to alcohol cannabis drugs and cigarettes my abusers got me addicted it taken me years to end my addiction.I not had alcohol cigarettes cannabis and drugs since 2017 that was last time when I was raped sexual assaulted beaten up and tortured by Pakistani men. 

I am now safe getting all the help and support I need.