I have my own horrid story but have come along way in healing regardless of no prosecution of my long term grooming, drug forced, physical, mental and sexual abuser, I cannot begin to describe in my message the day to day challenges I face but am stronger than I was all those years ago, now age 37, Mum of 4.
I became homeless and sadly was in hostels in Manchester, around the time of Op Augusta also but was older, age 21 and slightly less vulnerable……… I witnessed other younger girls we lived with being groomed and abused and raised the issues with our care workers, our feedback was that there was not enough evidence so they could not do anything, we felt deflated with the system, one vulnerable girl in particular contracted gonorrhea and came back beaten frequently, she had not long turned 17 and Pakistani ethnicity.
I have little faith in the system that is supposed to protect us and have faced a life of constant challenges. I have made myself strong because I know it is still going on and have made myself press on because of this knowledge.
I have tried CBT,Counselling, faced and overcome alcoholism and drug masking but nothing really helped me until I realised that through my mishmash of job experiences and achievements in my qualifications that I have all the tools I needed to set me on my course of healing. I have amalgamated this into writing my powerpoint of healing journey to help me press the reset button of panic and feelings of self worthlessness. It does work. I became more confident and became an activist, using my struggles and unbundling strength to continue to safeguard our young .
My healing is a day to day journey as I am faced with more horrid events coming to light. I want to enable victims to become survivors and realise actually just how brave and courageous they are to just simply continue to breathe.
I learned about your charity through watching the distressing, highly reassuring and informative meeting at Westminster Hall Meeting from 5th Feb 2020. I searched for your charity and the first thing that caught my attention was your motto and I am literally crying because this is what I have done and do every day. I do belong.
Turning my deeply engrained pain into my strength. It’s not just me that does it or knows this transmutation. I have learned to be strong because noone has been able to help me but myself in the end when I close my eyes at night. I wish for you to see my powerpoint because I know in my heart that it can help and am strong enough to deliver it too as this is my intention. This was based solely upon helping survivors of child sexual abuse, grooming and releasing fears but I have been told by a family member and Veteran that it would also serve PTSD in Veterans too.
I wish to focus on our plight first. I will say that I am afraid of waffling on in this message but something is nagging me to send this message to you to highlight this as there is much healing to do and am physically shaking with nerves so I will leave this with you.
Thank you infinity for being brave for all of us who have suffered and who are still suffering.
We will end this, many voices will make the right difference.