NEW

Natural Thinking by Ria Walton

the frondescence of flourishing leaves  coming to life the essence of new life for spring the re birth of trees the birds singing their melodies sweet songs of morning nature alive with fresh new growth buds blooming their energy forthwith to bring, the floral...

The Three Girls Workshop

Three Girls Workshop With lockdown having restricted the hosting of events ‘in person’ the Foundation recently ran on online meet-up centred around the BAFTA award winning BBC mini-series Three Girls.  The programme (for which Maggie worked as the Programme...

VICTIMS’ COMMISSIONER SAYS CULTURE CHANGE TO SUPPORT AGGRIEVED LONG OVERDUE

By Ryan Hooper, PA Chief Reporter  A new, specific law is required to give more rights to those affected by crime, the Victims' Commissioner for England and Wales has said. Dame Vera Baird QC said a change of culture'' was long overdue'' to look after'' victims of...

“I feel lost, and I don’t know if this pain will ever leave me…..”

I  was abused from age 7 to 20. No one in my life knows except doctors/counsellors/helplines or the occasional Samaritan. I carry on every day like I'm absolutely fine. No one would ever know.   It's almost like having two lives which makes me very sad. I was...

Poem 2 by Michelle

In these eyes I hold the key, To a life you will never see. Beneath the surface of fake smiles

Loveartpix

My name is Dez (AKA Loveartpix) & I am a self-taught Creative Artist from Manchester. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder over 10 years ago & more recently autism, a diagnosis I am now beginning to come to terms with & better understand. From an early...

Poem by Michelle

I am lost in this darkness, I can't see a light Tormented by my demons, they come worse at night.   I am lost in this spiral of unspeakable pain Longing for a rainbow that comes after the rain.   My head, it's pounding...

I Came as a Survivor, now I am an Abassador

I initially came to foundation as a survivor that needed help. The only service that was helping me at the time was recovery, I had been laughed at by a few police officers and a member of the council had labelled me she was at that children’s home a home where I was...

I still struggle with the frustrations that the police did a ‘half-assed’ job and that monster is still walking the streets, free to do whatever he likes…..

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my story. It has been almost 11 years since this happened to me, and I have never tried to deal with it. I just tucked it away in a little box in my mind and hoped that it would go away. Recently I took the first steps...

I shared a small detail of what was happening to me when I was really young, but it was ignored..

Categories - Survivor Stories

I always knew it made me feel uncomfortable and it wasn’t something I wanted, but from the early years and what I can remember I would just push it to the back of my mind and pretend it wasn’t happening.  

I shared a small detail of what was happening to me when I was really young, but sadly it was ignored and after a short while the abuse continued.  

Throughout my teenage years the abuse got worse. I tried to avoid it but I was totally trapped and it became almost impossible to live with.  The threats, the physical abuse I endured for not doing what I was told and the emotional torture was so horrific.  

I learnt to dissociate, to shut off my mind so that whilst I was being raped I could cope with the pain. It was almost like I could disconnect from being present in that moment and it was the only way I kept on going.  

Sometimes the abuse was so horrendous I would be physically sick. I would look in the mirror at myself and the body staring back at me didn’t even feel like mine. It belong to others, I had no ownership of it.  

It my late teens I spoke up and was finally listened to.  

I did get justice for what happened to me, but it will never be enough to take away the pain I endured for so many years. I was robbed of my childhood and I will never know what it feels like to be a child growing up free from abuse…… 

I’m now in my late 20’s and I have a child of my own. He’s my everything and I strive everyday to give him the childhood I never had.  

I’m sharing this with you now because in between all the suffering, the horrific trauma, the suicide attempts, harming my own body, endless nightmares and flashbacks, I have managed to find myself and recover. It’s taken years and many set backs along the way but I’ve done it.  

I’ve wanted to give up and just be the abused girl because in some ways it was easier, she was all I knew. Yet, I kept fighting through and with the help of some incredible professionals I’ve made it out the other side. Don’t get me wrong, it will always be a part of me and sometimes it creeps back into my mind but I don’t let it take control anymore.  

I never believed I would amount to anything. I thought I was a waste of space, a useless human being who deserved nothing but torture and pain. But over the years I’ve began to accept that all these beliefs are not mine and I am worthy.  

This is my message to anyone reading this right now who is experiencing or has experienced sexual abuse, that even when truly awful things happen to you and you feel like you’ll never survive it, 

 

           YOU CAN OVERCOME IT  

 

How to View Discreetly