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When I lived with my parents I suffered years of rape sexual assaults and beatings by some white men.I was repeatedly raped by 2 white men others just touch me sexually only 1 of them was jailed.I was age 6 when rape and sexual assaults started beatings started when I was age 4.I can’t remember anything before I was age 4. I was also abused by my mum and dad by beatings and emotional degrading abuse.

When I was age 13 I was put in a horrible children’s home and an older Pakistani bloke evil bad man in his 30s came in to my life.Evil bad man didn’t need to get to know me he already knew lot’s about me.He was nice to me for over a week then turn evil all the others never was nice to me they got on with it straight away raped and tortured me.For over 19 years from when I was age 13 he used me as a rape slave(it’s rape not sex) He sold me to almost 1,000 Pakistani men. They have repeatedly raped sexually assaulted beaten and tortured me in uk different places towns and cities.

Evil bad man was different type of abuser I don’t call them that has raped me grooming gangs they are rapist.He was 1 girl business man there were not any other girls and women I was the only girl/women he abused and allowed almost 1,000 other Pakistani men raped and tortured me.Evil bad man had all the money I didn’t get a penny I don’t want any.Evil bad man believed because he only got 1 girl(me) he will always get away with it because it’s my word against all of them.He was being cleaver also he had lots of different fake names and moved a lot. 

Most of the time evil bad man force took me to men on his own sometimes his 2 brothers dad and some of his friends helped him.Lots of times evil bad man put something that smelt funny over my mouth and nose and put me in back of his van forced took me to lots of Pakistani men they raped  beaten and tortured me.

Lot’s of times evil bad man told them what to do and use on me they did lots of horrible frightening disgusting painful things to my body.I was repeatedly raped vaginally and anally by penis and different objects.I couldn’t always count how many men there was because more often than not there were so many of them in a day.Evil bad man started raping me on my 16th birthday but allowed lots of other Pakistani men start when I was age 13. 

He waited to rape me when I was age 16 because he believed he could not go to jail as I was old enough it was still rape as I did not want to or consent to have sex with him.(Lots of men think when girls reaches 16 they can help themselves to sex despite the fact they need consent they just can’t help themselves as this is rape.)I never had sex with any of them I was raped sexually assaulted beaten up and tortured. 

I was not in control he was I never went to him he kept finding me and drugging me his 2 brothers dad and some of his friends sometimes were involved.Here is list of horrible frightening painful disgusting things I had to endure.I had darts chucked at me pins in my boobs and clit hung up naked hit by belt and other things.I was burnt beaten up drugged up alcohol forced down my mouth cigarette ash down my mouth in my butt and vagina I had my toe nails cut off they made me lick up spunk of floor raped me at the same time they forced me to eat horrible things dead rats mice spunk on toast and other things raped me at the same time. pissed in my mouth stuffed my vagina they forced sexual bondage/bdsm very aggressive and rough with me put me in lots of pains put my head in oven raped me at the same time(took my head out before it got too hot)put pegs on my nipples stapled my body I was raped beaten tortured tied up chained caged strapped down drugged handcuffed etc also I was sometimes blindfolded. For over 19 years I was raped by almost 1,000 Pakistani men lots of them did it repeatedly.I was kicked punched chucked around spat at strangled had my hair pulled etc. They did all sexual stuff to me licked me fingered me touched bite sucked my boobs nipples vagina and clitous aggressive and rough with me.deep throat me with penis and objects penis and objects between by boobs pulled my nipples and clitous put icecubes on my nipples and vagina injected my clitous boobs and arms they did lots of horrible things to my body.  

After I was gang raped they tied me to a tree naked in a dark scary wood I was almost drowned was almost buried alive.I was tied up naked with my legs apart in a basement full of Pakistani men I had penis and different objects in my both holes at the same time they used tools on me I had a gun pointed in my vagina and used on me. I have been cut and stabbed with pen knife had cigarettes stubbed out on me pills forced down me etc.

It carried on even when on my menstrual cycle as I was butt raped only till my periods finished and they continued torturing my body as described as above.They did lots of horrible frightening painful things to my body mostly my boobs nipples vagina clit and butt they sexually tortured me. Through the torture my knees were kicked so many times they are now damaged to the extent my mobility is difficult and I have to take things slowly and regular breaks I’m lucky I can walk but with struggle. 

Evil bad man was very aggressive strict controlling dangerous thug the torture rape punishment was worse when I wore the wrong type or colour of clothes underwear etc that he did not like.Evil bad man always had an excuse to want to hurt me and allowed other Pakistani men did same.I never knew what I did wrong to be tortured punished and abused he said I belong to him and called me his special white slag.

To shame me further evil bad man filmed me being raped and tortured their faces were covered to protect their identity mine shown.He enjoyed watching me being raped and tortured by other Pakistani men.Lot’s of times he also held a gun at me made me have topless and fully naked pictures taken evil bad man has raped and tortured me lots too.

Many professionals called me prostitute and that I asked for it they were very ignorant and I am sure they would have known the difference between sex and rape.They were not supportive they was nasty to me and I believe they were just as bad as my abusers.Since I was age 13 I had lots of social workers and support workers most of them not good and didn’t care.I have been let down by police social services and care staff I now don’t trust most of them.I get anxious about being alone and vulnerable past care staff failed to turn up at any arranged times and meeting places putting me in danger from predators still looking for me.

Due to my mild learning disability my abusers thought it was alright for them to abuse torture and rape me without getting caught.Evil bad man said I’m easy to take advantage of and to abuse because I am very frightened vulunerble lady that has mild learning disability.

Evil bad man had and may still have a secret place he calls it his special place it’s full of me lots of different pictures of me naked ones and others on all walls and ceiling also got my clothing underwear my hair some of my skin he cut of my body some of my blood toe nails and lots of other things of me it’s very creepy frightening torture room. He didn’t want me to know where it is everytime he took me there he put something that smelt funny round my mouth and nose put me in his van lots of times I wroken up there tied up naked. He cut his arm and my arm with a pen knife rub our arms and mixed our blood together he said I am his special white slag I belong to him.He has repeatedly drugged me raped me sexually assaulted me beaten me up and tortured me. Lots of times his special place was in a different room because he has moved alot I believe is his own home (I won’t write everything and every detail I do have lots more not nice to talk about and somethings are hard to explain) I have suffered many types of abuse most of my life. 

Due to my horrible past experiences I now suffer from depression anxiety ptsd suicidal thoughts panic attacks nightmares flashbacks etc. Also I can often smell things and hear voices from the past which still scares me. In the past I self harmed myself by cutting and I hope I don’t do it again.I do not know what will happen in the future as anything could happen to trigger the feelings again.I almost died more than once and when things got too far and I needed medical attention he knew doctors they sorted me out. He was being cleaver to continued to get away with it I have been through lots of horrible frightening painful disgusting things when I was a child teenager and it continued in my adulthood.

I used to be addicted to alcohol cannabis drugs and cigarettes my abusers got me addicted it taken me years to end my addiction.I not had alcohol cigarettes cannabis and drugs since 2017 that was the last time when I was raped sexual assaulted beaten up and tortured by gang of Pakistani men.Lots lots and lots of Pakistani men has hurt me lots of them did it repeatedly.More than once I moved changed my name with deed poll and I lost count how many times I changed my mobile number.

I was also financial abused and had lots stolen from me they put me in lots of debt and for months I was sleeping on broken sofa I am now debt free that taken me years to clear.

I’m the one was being bullied blamed and punished not them that has hurt me and also I was being bullied online called racist slut and lot’s of other horrible things.I got to be very careful not to be found if he finds me again I will be hurt again.For my safety and to continue protecting my identity I can’t share videos and photos of myself online and I won’t give out my number address email etc.I want to stay anonymous and only use my first name.

Because most of my life I have been hurt and let down lots by lots of people I now don’t trust most people.I do now have some good people I trust caring and supportive.I am also in regular contact with Maggie Oliver she is always amazing caring kind supportive and understanding.

Thank you all so much for reading.