I AM BAD by Nic Welsh

How a child feels when they are chucked around the system

I am bad

I know I am bad as my Mum doesn’t  want me

That’s why I’m in care

If she wanted me, I’d still be with her

I am bad

I know I’m bad as I’ve had nine placements

In three years

No one can cope with me

I don’t blame them

I am bad

I know I’m bad as every school I go to tells me I am

I’m always in isolation, detention or excluded

I’m always on the shite list

I am bad

I know I’m bad coz the social worker made me sign a behaviour agreement

I wanted to stick to it, but I couldn’t

Everything I do is wrong

I am bad

I know I’m bad coz I listened to my last foster carers on the phone

Shirley told the agency that she couldn’t cope with me anymore

She thinks I’ve got serious mental health problems

So do I

I am bad

I know I’m bad coz Mum hasn’t turned up for the last three contacts

Why would she?

Who wants to see such a bad kid

I am bad

I know I’m bad coz Dad used to beat me

I must have deserved it

It made me behave

Why don’t the carers beat me too?

I am bad

I know I’m bad as my two little sisters have been adopted

I won’t see them anymore, probably coz I’m bad

I haven’t been adopted

I’m too bad to be adopted

I am bad

I know I’m bad coz I have to attend lots of meetings

Good kids don’t have to attend

I think the adults are fed up with me

That’s why they keep having meetings

I am bad

I know I’m bad coz I’m now in a residential unit

They don’t know what else to do with me

All the kids here are bad

At least I fit in now

I’m sorry I’m so bad