Remembering Who I Am

Did I forget where I had hidden the real me ?

Only when he was belittling criticising, shouting and judging me

Maybe when i felt insignificant, stupid, unworthy and exhausted of always fighting

Ending every day emotional, wondering is this really the life that i have chosen for myself ?

Scared, unsure, will I be brave enough to finally leave?

Then the doubts creep in, no one will love you, you’re ugly, fat …

I know they came from him , cant help it, but now I have them running through my head like a constant stream of water

Coping with the gaslighting, the control, the never feeling good enough

And just when i think it will never get better…

But what if ? appears in my thoughts, what if things could be different, what if he is the problem not you?

Understanding, a sudden realisation that he tried to destroy me because of his own self doubts, insecurities and needing to bring me down to his level

So I am going to soar instead like the Phoenix rising from the ashes

Ending this abuse, i walk away, I am happy and i take back my power, I remember who I am and I free her